We often have dreams and desires that we want to achieve. But find ourselves not creating the life we want because we feel obligated to a family member whether it's a parent, spouse or your children. We have always been told, "you must follow your dreams".But do our dreams come with conditions, consequences and what if's? How many times did you want to follow your desires but stopped youself and said "oh no I can't do that, I need to take Mickey to piano first." How many people do you know who have children and live vicariously through their children as if that's supposed to make us feel better about accomplish our own dreams.
Or do you feel obligated to care for your elderly parents and think well I'll do this and that when they pass on, only to find out that your dreams have passed on and so has your life. You lost your zest, and now you no longer have the energy to pursue your life's purpose. At that point you throw it away and convince yourself that it just wasn't meant to be.
Then there are days that you probably thought to yourself, "Where do I find the time to devote myself to my dreams. Or my dreams are so big how can I make them happen?" This is because between work and family obligations you have no more time to spend on yourself".
I am here to remind you that your first obligation is to you and only you. It is your obligation to create the life that you deserve to have. Don't ask yourself do I really deserve all that? Why would you not deserve to be happy, healthy and joyous? How can you love, care and help others around you if you are not obligated to yourself. If you are not truly doing the things that make you happy and excited and bring you joy then what are you spending your time doing? If you are feeling that you have to do something rather than wanting to do something then you're not coming from pure love, but pure obligation.
You may be walking around throughout life feeling empty, hollow, or a feeling of void. In the long run you may start to develop feelings of resentment towards your spouse, children and family members. I love the way Elizabeth Gilbert puts it, in her book Eat, Pray, Love. "As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul". Resentment my friend will burn right through you.
Here are some of the lessons that I have learned:
- If you force yourself to do a list of 'shoulds' you are not listening to the deeper part of your being.
- 'Shoulds' do not create abundance and do not come from your higher self.
- Give yourself permission to do what you want to do with your life. Don't wait for someone else to give you permission.
- If you keep telling yourself you can't have what you want, you won't have it. Tell yourself why you can have what you want.
- Intend to have something and you will.
You don't have to throw away all your dreams. To make things happen, slowly integrate your dreams and passions into your life. Some how make it happen. Talk to those you care about. Tell them about your dreams and aspirations and that you want to take small steps towards making them happen and ask if they are willing to support you along the way. Read about others who have met life with adversities and read about how they have overcome them. Find out what keeps you inspired to achieve your dreams and keep doing it.
The following are five ways to help you act from pure passion and create the life you really want.
- Know what you want.
- Ask for what you want with love and intention.
- Believe that what you want is possible to have. Then let it go.
- Detach yourself and surrender to whatever comes and give gratitude for what you have here and now.
- Accept that maybe it wasn't meant to be if it doesn't come.
So ask yourself during the day is this what I feel like doing? Is this the lightest most joyful activity for me or am I making myself do it because I think I have to? Learn to stop doing the small things that you don't enjoy right now. Set aside your 'shoulds' and ask yourself what would you like to do? Take the time to nurture yourself, tell yourself that you are worthy and deserving of your dreams. Your dreams are there for a reason. Decide that you are going to take action towards your dreams. Learn to relax, focus, visualize and use your imagination and do what brings you most joy.
© 2008 Mary Luciano